kill-natalie:

surimistick:

i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:

“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”

and i was like woah

thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten

I just said “that’s brilliant” aloud.

youmeatsixual:

one time my sister told me about this kid with a horrible peanut allergy who wouldn’t shut up and then the teacher turned around and was like “maybe if i shove a peanut down your throat you’ll shut up” and the whole class just went silent 

(Source: spicesandvirtues)

sketchythought:

traceexcalibur:

a story about a girl and boy who fall in love with each other at first sight and then the boy reveals he’s an incubus come to steal her soul and then she reveals she’s a succubus trying to steal his and they laugh and go get drinks together

That’s actually the cutest fucking thing I’ve seen today. 

stylinsmut:

the first smut i ever read was about a girl listening to these people having sex in a bathroom stall and when they were done she snuck in and it was like “she saw semen all over the floor and bent over to pick one up”

she picked up a sperm

just one

jaclcfrost:

I Want to Cosplay but I Do Not Know Which Character to Cosplay

I Want to Cosplay but I Am Afraid of How it Will Turn Out

I Want to Cosplay but I Do Not Have the Proper Funds or a Cosplay Group

the trilogy

mybunnynietzsche:

kirakirahanabi:

mathmaticalkrillbits:

anondracomalfoy:

bless you if you can admit your favorite character has flaws.

And bless you if you can admit your least favourite character has good points

and then there was umbridge

UMBRIDGE

glamaphonic:

when you ship a ship so hard you don’t even care about the smut; you just want a billion page book about their entire lives beginning to end and how their lives are intertwined with one another’s and how beautiful their love is

#not that i’ll say no to the smut

(Source: thatssowritingdesk)

once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried

(Source: thebatteur)

(Source: lokilosesit)

Have your co-stars treated you differently since you’ve won an oscar?

mntrose:

The most horrific thing about getting close to someone is the thought that at any point, they could lose complete interest in you

starksexual:

i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it

jesussbabymomma:

DOES ANYONE ELSE MAKE SCENARIOS IN THEIR HEAD OF THEM DATING SOMEONE AND HAVING THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP AND DOING CUTE COUPLE THINGS WITH THAT PERSON BECAUSE ME 24/7

(Source: soufflered)